I get ya buddy, I do. It's part of the reason why I'm so level-headed and patient about most online things. I've been doing this online community thing since BBSes in the late 80s and CompuServe in the 90s. It's easy to make an online community your "world" for a while. It's easy to overspend time in the world for a while. But there is a natural burnout, like there is with rl relationships in which you throw yourself at completely. And yes, moderation of attention is key in regard to succeeding in continuing those relationships. You have to have "Shawn time" away from the relationship to allow yourself to continue to reflect and grow as an individual. Or you'll end up melting down and ragequitting over the simplist of straws on the camel's back.
One of the things that people tend to forget is that online stuff can feel so immediate that the level of impatience is even more critical than in rl. For example, I know in rl there is travel time if you've got to get to my place to help me move. I also know you got to get dressed, get ready, deal with any issues that may pop up before you come over - maybe gas up your car. So when you say, yeah, I'll be there in an hour, I'm good with that. But on a MC server, if you're not here immediately or darned soon, then a mental clock starts ticking and every minute you're not here, I start getting frustrated. -we've only got so much time on the server, and now you're wasting it, doing god knows what...
The frantic pace at which we can play this game sometimes gives us the idea that everyone could/should play at the same pace, and to many, and given rl issues that pop up, that's an unrealistic expectation that can only lead to meltdowns and raging. A lot of times, you just have to step back and accept that people are going to be as they will be. Sometimes they will meet you stride for stride and other times they will be downright lackadaisical. Again, during these times, like always, communication is key.
"Hey, you mentioned you'd come by and help with the build, what's up?"
"Sorry, my son lit our tablecloth on fire, had to deal with it." or "Yeah, sorry, just really distracted today, I'll be right there." etc.
I don't know if that was part of your thoughts at all... but apparently they were part of mine because I just wrote an essay about it. lol
Regarding the mod situation- I've been a mod, and let me tell you- it sucks the joy right out of the game almost immediately. Yeah, you dread logging in because of that wave of responsibility, when you just want to play for a bit. You have 3 hours to be on, but you spend over an hour just dealing with the stuff from before, you use an hour dealing with new stuff, you spend an hour helping other mods or admin with stuff they're working on, and then you go to work on your build and oh yeah... times up for today, you now have to get ready to go to your real job. And that's when things are going well. lol Other days you just get crapped on, called names, stuck in the middle of other people's drama, etc. No fun.
So I have the utmost of respect and admiration for those who do it, and especially for those who do it well. I try my best to leave them alone and to pat them on the back when I remember, because I don't want to add to their displeasure of their "free time."
Submods? Community leaders? Sure, it could work, but it will take some time for the current mods//admin to work out what that level of authority would look like. And then decide to whom to dish out the titles to. Would it be worth it in the long run? How much work are you creating versus how much work are you saving? I don't know, but that's the equation that will have to be solved I think.
President Obama once said that while he agreed that the penny was pretty-much useless, that it would only save the American people about 100 million a year to stop using the penny. And frankly, that wasn't really worth the effort that it would take to stop it. Yeah. Sometimes organizational structures have costs that people outside of that structure can't really comprehend. But those costs are there, and the people inside can and do calculate them.